Where did Global Warming Go?

With the record cold temperatures recorded across the nation this past week, there's only one thing I can think of: Global Warming. Farmers of strawberry, peach and citrus crops are devastated by the not-so-much unusually late, but unusually cold and long cold snap we've been trudging through. I know that the strawberries at my house have never looked worse, except back in January.

I rather enjoy it when someone poses the argument to me that this cold snap is temporary and normal, but all and all we're getting warmer. I ask them: If the cold is temporary and normal, how come when we have heat waves it's global warming and not temporary and normal? How come you say that there are natural fluctuations in temperature when your view is threatened and it's cold, but go deaf and dumb when the tables are turned?

I read this week that Hawaii had freezing temperatures last week. Hawaii! I see each and every day more and more stories of record cold, devastating frost on crops, gas bills growing again, yet I turn on the Weather Channel the other night, and for five minutes. . . five full minutes. . . I stared, gape-jawed at the TV with my wife patting my back, trying to keep me from snapping like the fragile twig that I am, because for those five minutes, all that was covered on The Weather Channel was global warming. It was snowing outside and my furnace was running here, the second week of April, yet here were two smiling faces talking about how troubled the world is, and how we're not doing anything to help, and basically, "we're all gonna die".

The TV magically changed channels (my wife may have had something to do with it) and life went on, until last night, when I hear some moron ranting on about how in 'x' amount of years we will be OUT of water. That's right, global warming will dry up all the usable water on earth and we will all die of thirst.

Now, I seem to recall learning in science when I was in grade-school that the water that is here is the same water that the dinosaurs were drinking, and that water never really goes away, it is merely recycled. Huh. Physics must have changed in the past 15 years, oh, wait, that's right. Now it benefits the Doom and Gloomers to say that there won't be any water for their children.

Before we were out of water, the terrible heat was going to wipe out all crops on the planet and we were going to starve, but since it's cold, now we're going to die of thirst. Gotcha.

I rather like these arguments. The most recent, I'd like to ask: Where is the water going?

The first argument (where the heat will devastate crops) I'd like you to ponder this: Wouldn't shorter winters and longer summers mean longer growing seasons and more food? On the topic of food supplies, since many of the tree-huggers want a full switch to bio-diesel, which takes food from the mouths of livestock, us, and (gasp) the children to produce it, isn't that an issue? I'm not making that up. Cattle farmers are distraught because feed prices are going up for them because everyone is selling their corn to bio-diesel plants, which increases demand, which drives up prices. Welcome to the free market system of supply and demand.

If the environmentalist are concerned about hunger and thirst as they claim, wouldn't they hop off the bio-diesel bandwagon? Nope, because it's not about hunger, thirst, fuel or anything like that, it's about their own narrow view of things. Remember the hole in the ozone layer that they couldn't make up their mind if it was causing global warming or was caused by it?

Now don't get me started on all those touting how 'green' we should all be living while flying around in their jumbo-jets and limos, while living in several multi-thousand square foot houses (Al Gore, Madonna, John Edwards, Bono. . . I could go on).

I don’t know about you, but my rose bushes and I could go for a little warming right about now.